


Bit sad, innit?

by Anonymous



Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Discord - Freeform, Heavy Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Panic Attacks, Suicide Attempt, Texting, Texting format, heres to hoping anon works cheers mate, i found a new writing and formatting style and holy shit do i love it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-20
Updated: 2020-12-20
Packaged: 2021-03-10 20:20:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,707
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28193082
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: Tommy does something he'll probably regret, as seen through a phone
Relationships: No Romantic Relationship(s)
Comments: 7
Kudos: 392
Collections: Fanfic Anonymous





	Bit sad, innit?

**Author's Note:**

> Please for the love of god read the tags, this is kinda graphic at the beginning but it does get better. Uhh other than that, enjoy, I guess? I wrote this in like two sittings on the band bus in the middle of the night shdvdgsh it's honestly not that good
> 
> Also for the record I dont think Tommy is actually depressed irl. This isnt a reflection of the actual real life people, I'm just venting a bit
> 
> Also also that title is SHIT lmao

**Discord**

**> Dream SMP**

**> > general-1**

**tommy**

hullo **@everyone** ! I know that pinging that is sorely against the rules, but why not go out with a bit of rule breaking, eh? So like me, isnt it? I mean it really isnt, but. Eh. Too late now. I'm so sorry for being so overbearing and such an arsehole and such just. A fucking pain. I deserve this. I wanted to say thank you all so much for pretending to be my friends for a bit. I really do care about you guys a lot, and these past few months have been so much fun. But it can't last, of course. I am so, so sorry for maybe ruining your day, but you'll get over it soon. You wont have to deal with me anymore! I should actually be gone within the next hour maybe. Isn't that nice? Again, thank you all for putting up with me as long as you all did. I know it's a challenge. Goodbye. 

**Tubbee**

?????????

**Ranboo**

? Are you ok???

**Dream**

_.. what_

**Tubbee**

what does this mean??

Tommy????

**@tommyinnit** Tom????? 

**Ghostbur**

Tom is that a goddamn suicide note

**The Blade (RETIRED)**

Wait what?

Uh

**Quackity**

Oh no

**Phil**

**@GMT** which one of us lives the closest to him??

Do any of us know

**Ghostbur**

Pretty sure it's either me or you

Tubbo too but he doesn't have a car

I'm already in mine, leaving soon

**Phil**

Im coming too, dm me the address?

Oh nvm you've already did it thanks

**Dream**

Hurry

Please

**@tommyinnit** if this is a joke I'm killing you myself

**tommy**

No joke! I uh

Wilbur Phil I think you're gonna be too late haha

**Tubbee**

what do you mean by that?

Tommy, please

_Please_

**tommy**

I'm so sorry

I already did it

Please dont make me regret this

**The Blade (RETIRED)**

What did you do? 

You need to tell us what happened so Will and Phil can tell paramedics what to do when they get there.

We're not mad we just need to know what you did.

**tommy**

thers uh

alto of blood

I cut my wrists and tok some pills frokn the medicime cabnrt 

I took a lot

In in my tub there so much blood oh my gkf 

**Tubbee**

Oh god

**tommy**

I'm so tired

**Ranboo**

Dont go to sleep!

Just say awake for a little bit, ok?

We're here

**King Eret 👑**

I'm gonna check on tubbo

**Dream**

Good, make sure he stays away for the time being

**Tubbee**

No wait what

I need to be here!

**Dream**

Seriously. Tubbo, I know hes your best friend but I think that's an even bigger reason fo you to not be here right now. Talk with Eret for a bit, they'll make sure you're ok bc you need it too

**@everyone** else online go to vc 2, I'll go ahead and drag Tommy in there

Make sure he stays awake until Wilbur and Phil get there, ok?

**tommy**

but I wanna sleep so bad 

everything hurst

Please just let me have this

**Fundy**

We can't do that, tommy, you know that

* * *

**Ghostbur**

We called 999 before we got there so paramedics were already there by the time we arrived

His parents woke up when they arrived so they're also here

A lot is happening right now

**Tubbee**

And??

**Ghostbur**

Hes on his way to hospital now, we cant really tell how he'll fare from here

But they said hell be good for the time being

That it was good we called when we did, because he didn't have much time left by the time they got there

But he should be fine. Physically, at least

**Quackity**

Oh thank fucking god

**Dream**

What he said, yeah

Holy shit

**Fundy**

Any idea when we can visit?

**Phil**

It might take a while, a few days at least

And they wont allow many visitors at once because of the coronavirus and everything

But within the week, I'm guessing

**President Schaltt**

Hello everyone I just woke up what the _fuck_ is happening?? Who's in the hospital? 

**King Eret 👑**

Tommy

Scroll up a bit

**President Schlatt**

Oh

Shit.

**Tubbee**

Gen 2 has been designed the official "freaking out over tommy's well being" area to clear gen 1 up for news, please come scream with us there we'd love to have you

**Fundy**

*designated

**Tubbee**

Thats what I said, yes

**> > general-dos-(two)-(2)**

**Dream**

**@everyone** In case you haven't already seen in gen 1, Tommy should be ok!! He's on his way to the hospital now, visiting hours are unsure rn so we'll clear that up later for anyone that can make it to the UK

**Connar PANT**

FUCK YEAH :pogchamp-4: :pogchamp-4:

**BBH**

Language! 

But I am gald he's ok! I dont think I'll be able to visit but please send him my care

**Sam**

Same here about the visiting thing. I'm so gald he made it, though. This server wouldnt be the same without him.

**Tubbee**

Im actually crying now oh god

Well actually I have been for a while, I think I had a panic attack with Eret earlier

But I dont know why im crying again

**Ranboo**

Oh haha same fucking hat dude please help

**President Schlatt**

Nah that makes sense

I know I was asleep for most of this but you've been through a lot in the past hour

Let it out, kid

**Niki <3**

I'm crying too, don't worry

**Fundy**

Think we all are tbh

**Tubbo**

I'm just so happy he's alive. I was so scared.

I dont think I can sleep anymore

**Ranboo**

I've been hiding out in the bathroom since this started, I'm still at school

Problem with that being that school has ended

I have missed my bus 

**Quackity**

Haha suck it white boy

**SapSap**

Don't you have a car???

**Ranboo**

No?????

Actually yes but it's broken down rn :(

Also when I said same hat that was, in fact, about the panic attack, so I doubt I'd be able to drive rn anyways

**SapSap**

Oh god are we going to have to have impromptu VC therapy session pt 2 electric boogaloo

**Fundy**

Yeah sure why not 

I think we all need it right now

**> >adulting-(NO-KIDS-ALLOWED!!1!1)**

**President Schlatt**

All of the kids on this server are gonna need some hardcore therapy at this rate, jesus

**Dream**

Ok so one of us has to tell everyone about this, right?

Everyone as in the fanbase

I dont think any of us are going to be able to stream for a while

**The Blade (RETIRED)**

Oh I hadn't even thought that far

**King Eret 👑**

Itd be weird if it wasnt someone close to him to tell the news

Actually I think itd be weird if it wasnt Tommy himself to tell everyone, if he even wants to

**President Schlatt**

Yeah, for sure

**Sam**

How about everyone decide their streaming schedule for the next while themselves

But Dream you should say the SMP story is on hold for a while

You decide how long 

I feel like that's the best idea for now, but you might decide to do something else idk

**Dream**

Yeah no that works

I'll go ahead and tweet something now

**> >Announcements**

**Dream**

**@everyone** Due to uh. The whole Tommy situation, as I'm sure you've already seen, I'm putting roleplay streams on hold for the next month. You can all stream something else if you really want to, on the server or not, just not plot stuff for the time being. React with a thumbs up when you get this.

| [👍 31] [❤ 23]

**Twitter**

**dream** @dreamwastaken

Some personal stuff has come up recently and as a result the SMP has come to the mutual decision to put roleplay streams on hold for the time being. (1/3)

|

I will also not be streaming or posting content for the next month at least. Everyone else should be posting how long their haituses will be, if they're having ones, on their own twitters or other forms of social media. (2/3)

|

Please respect this decision, and please do not try and snoop to figure out what's happening in our PERSONAL lives. Give us some time and be respectful. Thank you. (3/3)

**dream** @dreamwastaken

Some clarification: "the time being" is, again, the next month at least. It depends on how ready everyone is to roleplay again.

* * *

**Wilbur Spot** @wilbursoot

Nobody's dead or dying, dont worry and stop asking.

* * *

**Discord**

**> Dream SMP**

**> >non-meme-pics**

**tommy**

I LIVED BITCH

[Image didn't load]

[Image description: a selfie of Tommy in his hospital bed. His hair is greasy, his eyes look tired, and there is a tube down his nose, but there is a weak smile on his face. He is raising the hand not holding his phone up in a thumbs up in front of his face.]

**tommy**

:)

**Tubbee**

!!!! 

I mean I already knew this bc I am sotting next to you in the hospital but stil!!!!!

**tommy**

I should be out by the end of the week, but they're putting me in a "sykeyactrick hospital" or whatever for a month or so to make sure I dont do depressed bitch shit again

**Phil**

I dont think that's how you spell it

**tommy**

I SPWLL HOW I WANT, BITCH

**Skeppy**

Oh I can hear bbh fuming from here

**BBH**

Actually you know what? I'll let you cuss once for the near death experience

After this though it is the language yell for you

**tommy**

FUCK YEAH

oh

**BBH**

WHAT DID I JUST SAY

**tommy**

SORRY

**Wilbur**

Oh thank god the gremlin child is back in full chaos mode

Give it up for the gremlin child, everybody!!

**The Blade (RETIRED)**

Never thought I'd say this but I'm genuinely glad that Tommy's yelling again

Promise me that I'll never have to look at you, unconscious, in a hospital bed again. That wasnt fun.

**tommy**

I promise, big man

**Dream**

We're keeping you to that

**tommy**

ooh vaguely threatening dream I'm _so scared_

**Vikkstar**

You're an annoying piece of shit but I'm also glad you're ok. Just so that is out there

**tommy**

😳

**Tubbee**

OH SNAP

**tommy**

Thank you mr vikkstar!!!! I promise I'll try and get better!!! for you!!!!!!!! <3

**> >general-1**

**tommy**

Ok I'm not good with sappy shit but I'm gonna try for once. Thank you all so much for the support the past few days, I keep crying whenever I think about how much you guys _care._ And the fact that you all really do care. And I'm a big man and I never cry so that means a lot

So uhh yeah, thank you. For giving me a few resons to live. Even if you werent able to visit me, I did read your dms and all the messages sent in the chats and all the talks we had, it all helped more than I can explain. Thank you. And I'm sorry, again, for what I did. 

**Phil**

Dont apologize kid, we're all just happy you're ok.

**Quackity**

What your dad said

God I dont think I've been as stressed as Ive been this week since

Ever

Since ever

Can't wait for you to be adding unnecessary pogchamps to every message again though

| [:pogchamp: 1]

AH THERE IT IS HELL YEAH

**|** _God I dont think I've been as stressed as..._

**Ranboo**

Agreed!

So glad you're back, tommy :)

We're always here for you

**Niki <3**

Tommy! Of course we care, we love you so much

Did you get the cookies I sent? 

And I'm so sorry I wasn't able to visit, travel bans are really rough right now

**tommy**

Yeah I got them! they were great, thank you so much

Love you too, Niki

And you're fine abt visiting

I wasnt even expecting the amount of people that _did_ show up honestly

And that are still showing up

**Dream**

Speaking of which

I was gonna keep it a surprise but since I'm already on the plane I'm gonna go ahead and say that I'm visiting too

George and I should swing by sometime tomorrow 

**GOGY**

yeah! Cant wait to see you 

That goes for both dream and tommy :) tommy especially I'm happy you're doing well

**tommy**

GOGY LOVES ME POGCHAMP

**Twitter**

**NOT DEAD** @tommyinnit

Hello everyone! Apparently everyone's been really worried and like, I get it, you miss my beautiful face, but CHRIST calm down with the pity subs jesus 

|

I know it's stupid to make a tweet to say I'm back only to immediately go back on break but I'm sorry to say I'll be gone again for the next month :(

|

I'll post a video explaining everything once that's over though! Or some things. I'll tell just a bit of info. Maybe more?? You'll see

|

I am ok though! Thank you to the thousands of people that constantly asked me if I was in the six (6) days I've been offline (clingy much??!??!????)

* * *

**YouTube**

**> WHERE ON EARTH HAVE I BEEN**

>>TommyOutIt 

Tommy appears on screen, sitting in his chair. He raises his eyebrows and lets out a puff of air as he looks into the camera before breaking into soft laughter. It's distinctly not as loud as it used to be. 

"So! Uh." More laughter, but Tommy quickly sobers. "The fuck?!" The camera zooms in on his face for that line before going back out. 

"And I hear you, I hear you! 'Tommy wheres our content? Tommy we're _dying,_ we dont know who to give our primes to' and you know what I say? I say- say- good! Good, uh. Good riddance! Never needed you alive anyways!!" He laughed, fully and loudly this time. "I'm kidding! Im kidding, I'm just joking, jesus." He smiles, chuckling to himself. "I really should not be laughing so much at this video considering the topic at hand.

"Um. So! Where have I been this past… month and a half now? Why was the Dream SMP put on hold? Why did literally all my friends go on breaks while I stayed silent? Did I have something to do with all that? (Spoiler alert: yes) Why the fuck were there pics of Techno in England with Wil and Tubbo and _not me,_ I know, I was shocked too." He leans forward in his chair. "It's actually quite a long story!

"Wait no it's not, I'm kidding. Or uh. Hmm. I guess long story short, I've been in the hospital!" Tommy bites his lip, fidgeting for a second before talking again. "Yeah..

"Um. Long story not short is that I uh." Tommy freezes mid-sentence. "Um." He grits his teeth, trying to figure out how to phrase it. 

"I actually tried to off myself, if I'm gonna go ahead and put it all out there. I told the server right when it happened and they were able to get to me in time. I'm here now though, so! …Yeah. I think I threw half the server into therapy along with me when I did, again _so_ sorry about that. I uh. Hmm. Yeah.

"So I mean, I _was_ in hospital! Mostly just a mental one though, ha. Therapy is… a _time,_ my god." He pauses, face wrinkling. "But I dont think I can or should talk about that in a video, so moving on!

"I did want to take this time to say that it's… it's not worth it. Killing yourself. I know there's probably a lot of people watching this right now that are thinking about maybe doing something similar, and let me tell you first hand that oh my GOD it really is not worth it. There's a lot of people out there who care about you, even if you barely know them that well, even if you feel like nobody's there at all. There's somebody. So many people will miss you. It's really hard to tell right now but there are _so many_ people out there who love you or will love you or--" 

Tommy brakes himself off with a genuine sob and a voice crack. He wipes at his face, getting away as many tears as possible, then reaches forwards to turn the camera off. "That's enough sappy shit for today, I think. Thank you all for sticking around."

The video ends.

**Author's Note:**

> The spelling mistakes that werent in image/video descriptions were intentional, they're texting, what do you expect 
> 
> Also I tried to make it so everyone's username was pretty obvious but if you're confused about anyone please ask! 
> 
> Comments and kudos appreciated :)


End file.
